As Seinfeld is want to say, “Breaking up is like pushing over a coke machine. You can’t do it in one push, you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and THEN it goes over.” This, obviously, does not pertain to me and my singleness as I am not recently out of a relationship, but I did notice a recent development on facebook that made me think of the preceding quotes.
This particular person rather surreptitiously changed her facebook and myspace status to “single”, but clearly did not want all the hullabaloo that goes with that status change showing up in everyone’s news feed, so I didn’t notice until I was doing my Saturday morning facebook stalking and read between the lines on her last few status updates. Then I went to myspace, which I don’t frequent that often, and it became much more obvious that she was not the breakor, but the breakee. The reason this is important to me is that I always told myself if she was ever single again, I’d have to do something since I failed to capitalize on what appears now to have been solid clues in my past. Obviously, I’ve been into her for years, but the problem is that, of course, we don’t live in the same city, so I can’t imagine it would work1,2. Plus, she’s the breakee, so I fully expect him to eventually do the inevitable backslide3. My problem is that I don’t know, or rather, can’t decide, if I should do anything. As she is a woman, I’m relatively certain that she knows that I’ve had a thing for her for a while; we’ve even discussed it somewhat abstractly. But since we don’t really talk unless she’s coming to town or I’m going to where she lives, I can’t imagine it won’t be awkward to try and pull the Seinfeld, “I heard what happened and I just wanted to say, I’m there for you.” And then eventually remove the two little words, “for you” and just be there. Subsequently, I expect that I shall do what I always do: nothing. However, I will certainly be convincing myself that if we lived in the same city, I’d be all over that like white on rice4.
Before I move on to my Lent update, I wanted to mention the perfect fit of the quote/title I used, as this young lady picked up this boyfriend very shortly after I left the state of Texas, so it really has been almost three years. Hilarious5.
Quick Lent update and future plans: I worked out today, but I’ve only done cardio the past week, so I’ve really got to lift tomorrow. As I feel I must put my future plans into the public domain to force me to adhere to them, here’s what I’m currently thinking about post Lent. Continuing to blog at least once a week, but hopefully with more insightful and interesting observations rather than the somewhat forced observations that I currently do6. Also, I’ve set some general weight parameters which may be altered as I continue to work out, but these are the goals that I am currently thinking of setting and having to meet in order to partake in the main thing I gave up for Lent. Post Lent, I have to be under 190, by the end of the summer-ish (Aug. 31?) I have to be under 185, and by 2010 I must weigh less than 180. I think if I can weigh that little, I’ll be generally fine with it, although I can somewhat recall a distant day in my past when I weighed around that and I still thought I was overweight… so we’ll see. Anyway, I needed to write that down before I forget or change my mind; now if I change my mind I better have a damn good reason because I’ll have a handful of people that knew my goals and watched me fail to meet them, and it’s always good to have a little bit of positive, perceived7 peer pressure8.
Catch you on the flip side.
1 To be fair, we’ve never lived in the same city. Well, we did in high school, but I’m not counting that because that was like a lifetime ago.
2 This is the beginning of me convincing myself that I have no chance. Because I don’t. See, I did it again! Damn, I have a poor self image.
3 He’ll get himself some strange and probably come back to her. I mean, for a biased third party, she seems pretty cool and attractive and completely devoted to him, so I can’t imagine that they won’t be back together for at least some period in the future.
4 I know the connotations of this phrase, but it makes absolutely no sense to me, i.e. where it came from or how it came to mean what it does.
5 Ok, maybe not hilarious, but odd and at least somewhat interesting that the quote I was able to use was so fitting.
6 Take the good with the bad, people. I almost certainly would not have written about a girl I’ve pined after for several years if I had anything more relevant or interesting to talk about.
7 I say perceived, because even if I were to fail, I don’t think anyone that reads this blog would particularly care or say anything if they noticed.
8 Ending with alliteration. Nice.
If not for the different city thing I’d probably call you a P.A.B. if you did nothing… in my head, of course, where you’re not able to retort with a more clever insult. That would be a sad commentary about my confidence if you outwitted me in my own psyche. Psyche, there’s a word I’ve never typed before, and consequently don’t know if I spelled it right. Back to the issue at hand, I think if the differing city issue resolves itself, even for just a weekend, it might behoove you to make something happen. It may discourage, and therefore decrease the likelihood of, the supposedly inevitable backslide. Then again it might not discourage that at all… Anyway I used to say wait until the breakup is complete, but now I say F that, be opportunistic… if you don’t, some other douche will.
I see that, while you don’t really want to call me a pussy ass bitch (that’s what the kids are calling P.A.B. these days, right?), you are comfortable to indirectly call me a douche: “some OTHER douche will” (the emphasis was added by me for effect). Well played, sir, well played.